On transitioning to the corporate world from the rough and tumble of policing, I imagined that it would be very nice working here since people were so polite and formal.
In policing, people can be quite blunt and rough. Shouting at subordinates was not unheard of, and even though I was fairly senior, once in a while, even I would face the wrath of my superiors.
On the contrary, in the corporate world, I rarely saw people raise their voice or use harsh words.
But I soon realized that the even polite words can hurt just as much. Even sophisticated and suave people can do just as much politics and be just as vicious.
In the end, what matters more is the intent. Not that harsh speech or shouting can be defended — it is wrong no matter who does it (and I too have been guilty of it).
But politeness has meaning only if the intent is good. You can be polite and racist. You can be polite and manipulative. You can be polite and condescending or insulting.
Without good intent, politeness is just sugar coated over a poison pill.
– Rajan