The next time someone is angry and you want to disarm them, just listen to them.
They should know that you are genuinely listening, without being condescending. You are listening to understand, not to come up with a retort or a response.
When people are angry, 50% of the anger comes from the feeling of being wronged. The remaining 50% comes from their anticipation that they will not be heard — that their feelings will not be valued.
You don’t need some big leadership or EQ training for this — the next time someone is angry, ask them to share what happened and listen for the next few minutes.
You might feel agitated or disagree with what they are saying, but don’t interrupt — you don’t have to agree, you just have to listen.
After that, do whatever is fair and context-appropriate.
Many problems in the world are communication problems, at least partly. Because we talk a lot and listen very little.
– Rajan