Leadership is Hard

Stress spreads like a contagion. Just one person needs to have it — especially the boss — and soon, everybody around will feel it.

Once the boss is snappy and angry, team members get scared and are on the defensive. Everybody’s fight-or-flight system kicks in, which makes you hypervigilant and degrades your prefrontal cortex (the thinking brain).

That is why, when stressed, you make silly mistakes. And even small mistakes create a fear of backlash, sending you into a panic. And the more the panic, the more the mistakes, creating a vicious spiral.

That is how stress flows down the hierarchy.

Here are the telltale sign of stress contagion in an office:

  1. Everybody is quiet, but not calm — they are on the edge.
  2. People are second-guessing what their boss wants, rather than what they think is right.
  3. Everybody is focused on avoiding mistakes, rather than taking risks and doing something big.

The burden of leadership is to be like a dam that stops the flow of stress, not a floodgate that lets it all flow down.

A lot of leadership is about absorbing incoming shocks and only passing down a thoughtful response. It is easy to articulate but very hard to do (I know from my own past failures).

That is why leadership is hard — not because we don’t have enough IIMs or leadership coaching programs. 

– Rajan

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